Sometimes we use code words, jargon, or even gibberish to avoid verbalizing our innermost thoughts and feelings. Transparency is the mantra of the new business and social media, but does it apply equally for individuals as it does to publicly traded companies? Is it cowardly to obscure the true meaning of what you’re thinking or feeling?

This week I used the word frumple on Twitter and Facebook, as in “Mark is frumple.” A couple of people asked me what frumple means. One of them came up with a witty response:

Frumpy + rumpled – in need of a pressing engagement!

However, the real origin of the word “frumple” comes from Star Control II, a PC game from the early 90s. An alien race called the Orz, creatures bizarre beyond belief, spoke a very bizarre form of English, using words that sounded ridiculous to represent other words. As near as I can tell, the word “frumple” actually means angry, annoyed, vexed, etc. So, in my own deceptive way, I was trying to say that I was angry about something without actually saying how I felt.

In retrospect, I’m not exactly sure why I didn’t just come out and say “I’m angry.” Except that that’s not the kind of thing that I’m known for saying or writing. I guess I wanted to express something without actually saying what was on my mind. Why’s that? I didn’t want to have to explain why I was angry (or frustrated, actually). However, being asked what “frumple” means kind of backfired since people then asked me what it meant.

Online media can be a quick and convenient way to quietly vent and can work well in an environment where you can’t scream and shout.

It beats pounding on your recycling bin with your stapler. Hands down.

Anyway, it does make me wonder about how we use pseudonyms, proxies, or otherwise to avoid saying directly what we are thinking and feeling. It comes down to fear:

• fear of offending other people
• fear of being ridiculed
• fear of being discovered

There’s also a fear of breaking whatever norms are in place by saying something contrary.

I’ve had a blog post draft around for awhile which started to address this point. I didn’t get very far with it, but I did write the following:

Staying in character gets boring

Just once I’d like to step out of character and rip a strip off someone. Just for the shock value.

Nobody would buy it in real life, either.

The point that I’m trying to, gradually, make here is that we build up personas over time that people come to rely upon when they see us. The thing is, though, that most people don’t display the full spectrum of their personality online (or offline, for that matter), so you may be basing your impression of a person on the little sliver of themselves that they share online.

Thus, my belief is that I’ve created an online persona which doesn’t ever appear to get angry, but it’s not accurate. I go through the normal set of emotions that most people possess. I just choose not to express them all online. Therefore, I didn’t want to violate the rules of the persona and so I used a silly word, which is more in character.  Although it didn’t really work.

Perhaps you’re the same, too. Are you afraid to express your true thoughts and feelings because you think it might mess with the image that you’ve worked hard to create?

Other posts that you might enjoy reading:

• LOST and blogging about islands
• Learning or thrashing?
• Take the conn dear reader – strut your stuff!
• The birth of a nation – I mean a blog
• Thought for the day about blogging