Seth says: how to really make friends and influence people online
social media April 12th. 2008, 10:22pmSeth Godin’s latest post (as of this moment) talks about the spam-like practices of how people try to build contacts through mass-adding them to your Friends lists in social media sites. The same holds true for:
email spam, blog spam, Twitter spam, Squidoo spam, comment spam, phone spam, politician spam
In his example, he was contacted as part of a mass E-mailing that was recruiting people for a new blog network. When he responded and pointed out a couple of problems with this approach, the sender responded back in a way that reinforced the generic, robotic, and ultimately off-putting method used to recruit bloggers, much like any mass communication.
(Those of you who were reading yesterday probably read about my little “mailing list” fiasco, so Seth Godin’s post was rather timely for me. :) )
“Hundreds of exciting people are waiting to meet YOU!”
I’ve been experimenting with the “mass add” approach to building up social contacts and I’ve seen other people try to include me in their networks. Having seen it from both sides, I’ve concluded, as you might guess, that without interaction and sharing of ideas, adding hundreds of people to your Friends lists isn’t going to do squat for you.
A few weeks ago I was following about 1400 other people on Twitter. I’m now following about 850 people. I was a bit abrupt in unFollowing some people, but I tried to stick to the following guidelines:
- I left a lot of people who weren’t following me back
- I left people who hadn’t been Twittering for some time
- I left if I couldn’t see the possibility of really connecting with that person
So, yes, it was a bit of a “catch” tactic, but social media does make it easy to try these things and it’s not really a faux pas to try it if you don’t annoy the crap out of strangers.
But I already suck at correspondance and greeting cards!
I’ll be honest - trying to follow 850 people is, well… damned near impossible, at least for me. There’s a number of these people who I haven’t really been in contact with… I’m just kind of watching and checking out the chatter that streams by. You can learn some interesting things that way.
However, even though I’m following these people, I make no assumptions of actual connection, friendship, or trust until there’s some exchange of messages or conversation. Yes, there are times when I’ve mass-broadcasted some things on Twitter looking for social media support, but I rationalize those actions with the knowledge that I’m just asking them to click their mouse a few times and it’s also voluntary. I’ve come into contact with some nice people that way - lucky, I guess.
I do regret, however, that I’ve not been very good at welcoming new followers. I blame a lot of that on Twitter’s interface but I could have tried harder, too. I think a lot of people are either inciting or experiencing mass following on Twitter, so I kind of hope that I’m not the only one with poor manners.
Hello, how are you? My name is Mark. Thanks for Following me!
So, if you are one of the kind souls who follows me on Twitter and we haven’t really connected yet… mostly likely it’s my fault, not yours. Please, feel free to DM me or otherwise say hello if we haven’t spoken yet: I’m always glad to see a kind face and exchange some thoughtful words. If there’s something I can do to help you out, I’ll certainly listen and see if it’s something that I can do.
For those of you who’ve suffered through some of my faux pas on Twitter (next Twitter Word Association Contest will be carried out much less obnoxiously…) and are still Following me, thanks for putting up with this n00b.
Once again, Mr. Godin stimulates the neurons of this Broadcasting Brain. Thanks Seth!
Post Script: I took a few minutes to check Twitter again and I wound up writing some silly Tweets referencing the fine gentleman known as Wil Wheaton. I was kind of riffing on his star power and how no one would have foreseen it twenty years ago. For the record, I think Wil Wheaton is doing great things and I respect that. Plus he’s probably had to deal with more shit than I ever have, so that’s something, too. Unfortunately, my fingers occasionally outrun my common sense. No harm intended.
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April 13th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Hi Mark..it must be very difficult following that many people!
I agree with you on watching the interaction as it flows by as being a way of learning new things..interesting posts, commentary and outside-looking-in tweets come our way do they not?
Even if we aren’t actively participating in the conversations (which is like acceptable nosiness. lol) we learn a great deal about the nature of those we follow..
I need to make sure I’m not one of the ones you removed follow from…If you did, I’m going to stalk you! *-)
PS: thanks for the “goodreads” hook-up..
Cya
April 14th, 2008 at 4:36 am
after reading your tweet about unfollowing a lot of people, i did the same. for me, the most important thing is that someone who follows you, should reply if you message them. i think it’s rude if a person does not reply when you message them.
i think keeping it simple is the best way. if you follow too many people, you get drowned in the conversation, like in real life too.
April 14th, 2008 at 7:23 am
@SpostareDuro - of course I didn’t remove you! Why would I remove someone who’s kind and helpful to me?
April 14th, 2008 at 7:30 am
@Jansie - My situation may have been a bit different than yours. I purposely Followed a large number of people because I was trying the same tactic as Buzz Networker. I added people somewhat randomly, so it’s not that surprising that a number of them just didn’t click.
Because there are so many people on my list, I felt a bit guilty about the lack of personal interaction, so I tried to use this post as a means to apologize for that. Over time, I do hope to connect with everyone who chose to follow me. For now, it’s interesting to dip into the stream and see what people are talking about.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
You did have a bit of an email messup, didn’t you? :.)
I’ve found that a targeted “mass add” in Twitter has broadened the conversation and made it more interesting…but ultimately, you have to attempt to give value to those folks who choose to follow you back.
I’ve actually found that greeting new Twitter followers is somewhat pointless…like thanking people for Sphinning your article.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@Todd - yes, I agree with you on your points, with the possible exception of the latter. Regardless of how pointless or ineffective it might be, it appears to be the norm to do so, at least with some.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:43 am
[...] Seth Godin’s latest post (as of this moment) talks about the spam-like practices of how people try to build contacts through mass-adding them to your Friends lists in social media sites. - Broadcasting Brain [...]
April 18th, 2008 at 8:57 am
I recently received an invite to “Blue Chip Expert” an online career site, but I didn’t recognize the person who was inviting me. On further search, I discovered that we were connected via LinkedIn. Apparently, we added each other months ago, but I forgot who he was.
Anyway, I’m sitting on the invitation for one simple reason: they want a lot of personal information about me, details I’m not wanting to freely share.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:17 am
@Matt - welcome! Good point about personal info. I’d be wary if I were in the same situation.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:54 am
I think Seth is a really easy guy to talk with. One time I needed to speak with him and he came around right away.
But mass mailing anyone via email or Twitter is not going to get anyone’s attention. You will just be ignored for Spamming.
Better tailor each message individually, no matter what is the medium! You may not get a reply right away, but if there is a will there is a way!
As far as acknowledging everybody who follows me on some social network, I do it case by case. If I have something to say, I do, but I do not do it across the board. I will follow in retrospect if I feel the follower has something that is of interest to me! I hope the followers who follow me think the same way!
I do not want to be Scobleizer 21k and going! I would not know what to do with them..:)
Check out Debate This from Igor The Troll
April 30th, 2008 at 5:42 am
@Igor - nicely put!